After over a week at moderate altitude in The Andes it was time to swap the crisp air and comfortable temperatures for the sweltering sea-level tropical climate of Colombia’s Caribbean coast. A quick geography snippet – Colombia is the only South American country to have both Atlantic/Caribbean and Pacific Ocean coasts.

Cartagena

Just over an hour flight – on an Avianca Colombia plane that made Ryanair appear generous with their legroom – took us to the city of Cartagena. The sun was setting during our brief taxi ride from the airport but it was immediately clear that the descriptions of Cartagena’s beauty weren’t an exaggeration. It’s a vibrant city where the old town’s colourful colonial streets within historic walls are juxtaposed with gleaming white skyscrapers – giving a lively mix of rich history and sleek urban energy set against a tropical beachside backdrop.

We’d chosen to stay in the old city, and Debbie had informed Steve that Cartagena was the most expensive place in Colombia so he needed to not get into a tizzy about the price of the hotel she was booking. Hotel Casa La Mantilla was a lovely little boutique place, with a shaded small pool in a ground floor courtyard and a hot tub on the roof terrace – ideal for our 4 nights in the city but we could’ve done without the 44 stairs to reach our room. Luckily the reception guy lugged our bags up for us!

The old city is apparently very safe for tourists and it felt surprisingly relaxed. Wandering around was easy, we walked along the walls marvelling at the high rise Bocogrande district in the distance, meandered through the narrow streets, stumbled across beautiful buildings with every turn, the small shops were beautiful, the courtyard restaurants stylish, and the pushy vendors were nowhere near as bad as reviews had suggested. It was bloody hot and humid though, and shockingly Starbucks and Hard Rock Cafe had been allowed to open in historic buildings.

We took a ‘free’ walking tour to understand more about where our wanderings had taken us and got an excellent guide in Edgar, a man who loved his city but also loved to explore the world and was a very well travelled bloke. He entertained us, an American and a Canadian with tales of the history of Colombia, the slave trade, the country’s liberation by Simon Bolivar, the arrival of Catholicism & conversion of the slaves into the religion, and Colombia’s obsession with the Miss Universe contest (and how they were robbed of the title in 2015). Outside the city walls we explored the newly gentrified area of Getsemane, once gritty, now trendy and with wall art to rival Communa 13 in Medellin. A really enjoyable and informative tour tour ended with the suggestion of the ‘tip’ that is usually offered (around £10/person), which seemed to shock the North Americans – odd considering their tipping culture – and which we thought was far too low a price. What did surprise us was that the tip could be paid by card if we preferred!

We’d noticed very grand door knockers everywhere, and Edgar explained that they were a symbol of the owner’s status and/or profession.

As the sun sets in Cartagena the city comes to life and sundowners are in order. We were far from the only people who had the idea to watch the sun go down with an Aperol Spritz at a bar on the city walls. Fabulous, but we were very under-dressed for the occasion and cocktail prices rivalled London.

Rosario Islands

The must-do day trip from Cartagena is an hour boat ride along the coast and out into the Caribbean Sea for a taste of tropical paradise. Debbie consulted ChatGPT on the best island resort day pass options, aiming for a bit of luxury and not a resort full of domestic tourists getting shitfaced on all-inclusive booze, finally settling on Catalina Island Bayside resort which seemed perfect. A bit on the pricey side, well actually a bloody silly price for a boat ride, a sun lounger and a spot of lunch, but the agent assured her that you get what you pay for.

Arriving at the port, we could see the chaos surrounding the boarding for the ‘mainstream’ resorts but did notice some very interesting outfits. Steve’s eyes were on stalks – nipple covers, tit tape and the tiniest thongs seemed to be the beachwear of choice of Colombian ladies in this neck of the woods! The masses were packed onto their boats and headed to the islands, while our vessel whisked just 6 of us into the Caribbean Sea.

Our resort was nice enough but Trading Standards would’ve had a field day with the ‘luxury’ description. We did have waterfront beds reserved, the sea was turquoise and the outlook gorgeous though. We were greeted with fizz (at 09.45) and then happy hour was announced so cocktails before 10am it was. A bloke on a kayak was making cocktails (presumably at lower prices than the resort), and another arrived with dressed lobster for sale. You’d have to be mad to try it – with no idea how fresh it was or the preparation hygiene standard, and it was being paddled around in 30+ degree heat.

We were taken out by boat for a snorkelling trip – nice enough but we’ve dived some of the world’s best coral reefs so we are a tough audience. On our return, everyone else had disappeared, apparently they were on multi-island day trips, and we were the only people left for the rest of the day. So it was certainly ‘quiet and exclusive’ – the agent wasn’t exaggerating there! A little sunbed relaxation before lunch, and we’d just settled down for more of the same afterwards when…..our return boat arrived! It was not even 2pm!! Debbie had strong words with the agency, rebutted their excuse that there must’ve been bad weather or sea conditions forecast, made a fuss about what terrible value for money it’d been – and was finally offered a free city tour (nice of them but we were leaving the following morning). Despite the resort being not quite as advertised, grossly overpriced and the day being cut short, the Rosario Islands are lovely and we should’ve done an overnight stay.

Tayrona National Park

We’d booked our flights out of Santa Marta so that we could explore the Tayrona and Minca areas but couldn’t fix on where we wanted to stay. The city of Santa Marta was the obvious choice but something was niggling Debbie – and people we met along the way confirmed that it wasn’t a particularly nice place. So we opted to stay on the coast, just outside Tayrona National Park, reached by a 5 hour minibus ride from Cartagena and then a 1 hour taxi ride that we were amazed that we survived.

Santa Marta and onwards to Tayrona was a world away from Cartagena despite the distance being just 100 miles. This was the part of Celebrity Race Across The World where the contestants were banned from travelling at night, the national park had recently been closed for a few weeks due to safety concerns, there was a significant armed presence in the park entrance area and around Santa Marta airport – what the hell were we thinking??

But it was worth it – the area is gorgeous, where the jungle meets the Caribbean Sea. Our hotel Senda Casa Tayrona Los Naranjos was a beauty – just 8 rooms and located on a small cliff above the sea, with access to the beach and views of the river flowing through the jungle to the sea. It wasn’t expensive, as tight-wad Steve refused to pay for the seafront bungalow, but the service was exceptional, the food good and the wine inexpensive. We just relaxed here and did sod-all except admire the view for a couple of days.

Cartagena & the Caribbean coast is a lovely part of Colombia and we could’ve (should’ve) spent much longer here but Panama City was waiting for us….

y